So, you are sitting there in a waiting room, or maybe for the bus. You see a middle aged to elderly person sitting there smacking their lips and perhaps rubbing/constantly repeating a movement. You wonder why but then go back to your Vogue magazine and think nothing more of it.

Well, here is the answer. That person (who likely also either looked completely un-kept or extremely well kept) most likely has tardive dyskinesia. It is a disorder born of years, decades, of taking psychiatric medications. Almost ALL psych meds can cause this as can other drugs NOT in the psych category. Hell, the drugs *I* take have a low risk of this.

Most of these people are either living on their own barely able to get themselves out of the house or are in a care home situation and are looked after as well as can be expected.

Those who have to live on their own are often single (being young and mentally ill is hard enough, I can't imagine trying to find a spouse at an older age), often living purely on what SSA/SDI pays them, usually can't drive themselves around, tend to own pets as companions but can't afford to have them groomed or vet cared for. They tend to hoard in a minor sense since they have lost everything over and over in life. They usually won't talk to you because they've learned you won't want to talk to them. They seem to stare off into space often - if you are wondering what they are thinking, the answer is usually "white noise" - as in the thoughts are so fragmented and so fast and so faded and overlapped that they are just noise to fill the time.

The life of the mentally ill is not just a hard one, its a long string of pain, fear, nightmares, hallucinations, disappointments, frustrations, tears, fears, and loss - but without the coping skills most people have. They've little to live for thus the suicide rate for them is high. I can't stress to you enough (though I'll often try) just how painful mental illness is.

So take a chance, smile when someone "odd" looks at you.  Maybe say "hello". I'm not saying have long conversations. Those would likely be incoherent and end with them falling into a mental hole and have them start rambling then yelling. They get upset at their own thoughts and shortcomings a lot faster than you do. And they don't know how to deal with it.

But none of the above means we don't have good days - and I'm going to try to make today good even though "that hole" is in my heart again today and it feels the whole world is on my shoulders and an elephant on my heart.